Mental Health

Moving away from home can be tough.

I'll admit, the first night I was out, it was a tearful farewell from my mom and then suddenly I was on my own in a strange bedroom, half unpacked in a house with a girl I barely knew. I had moved across states to attend a school I'd only heard of and never visited, and I didn't know what I was doing.

I felt stupid.

I felt young.

I felt afraid.

And I felt like I was going to fail before I had a chance.

So everyone has tough days, but let's face it: suddenly leaving the life you grew up with can be a little tricky to face. It's a little bit of shock, some confusion, maybe some homesickness, as well as some enthusiasm and promise that you're working hard to contain. 

Maybe it hits you the first night-

or the second-

or the third-

or the second month-

But something hits.

And I'm not just talking about mental health: I'm talking about you and a bad day. Because they come. Maybe you have been diagnosed with something, maybe you haven't. Maybe there is no label for the emotions you are struggling with, but we'll figure it out. There's hope.

Society, after all, is finally accepting the concept. Look at this way: homosexuals used to be put in asylums because it was considered some mental disease. Now the entire North American content allows for same-sex marriage, as well as several other nations around the world.

My point?

Mental Health is becoming recognized. (Not calling homosexuality a disease, but emphasizing that society can change and accept what they didn't understand before). What you are feeling is not necessarily wrong (it's only wrong if you're seriously planning murder. That is not okay. I don't care what your excuse is. It's not okay. It won't solve anything. It is also against the law), and all sorts of pain exists.

Depression exists. Bipolar disorder exists. Anorexia exists. Exhaustion exists.

And it's okay. Because I firmly believe that life goes on and it can get better. It can. That is a promise.

This is also something you cannot ignore. This isn't something you can just keep bottled.

Trust me, I know from experience.

The best thing I can suggest is to find someone to talk to, whether it's a psychiatrist, a doctor, family or a friend- someone to help you out. Someone to hear you out. Someone who will support you and will do their best for you, whether it's medication or finding a release.

College is a great experience, but it's also a stressful one. Around this time, our stress levels are the same as the "psychos" in early wards dealing with insanity and similar issues. There is so much responsibility placed upon us with so much on our plates, it can be hard to deal with. 12 classes, 15-18, taking a job or being part of a club or Greek life, the stress will come at any time.

So on your low days, take care of yourself.

What are your hobbies?

        Watch a movie, read a book, listen to your favorite song.

Your favorite foods?

        Make a cake, eat chocolate, put together a delightful salad.

Need to destress with moving? 

       Go for a run, work out, punch your pillow.

You don't have energy?

        Doodle in your notebook, sit upside down, take a nap, swing at a park.

Once you get into the daily routine of college life or your independent life, you might start noticing the triggers as a bad day builds. Sometimes I can see them coming from a mile out, and other days they just spring out on me. But usually if it starts in the morning, it just keeps going. So try to pay attention to these patterns, and do what you can with it.

On my bad days, I know I don't deal with people well. I'm unkind to even my favorite people. 

-Try to hang out alone

-Try meditating

-Find spare moments to take deep breaths and focus

-Eat a lot of chocolate

-Find a favorite song or story to play in your head

-Find a way to stay away from everyone

I keep a selection of the funniest pictures that never fail to amuse me. I pull them out on my bad days and they remind me that all of life is not that bad. 

College is the time where you are finding out who you want to be. Determine ahead of time how you want to deal with the bad days- because they will come. And they will also go. Emotions don't always work in our favor but hey, we need to do what we can.

So take a break. Take advantage of the weekend to skip town. If you don't have any pressing homework, take a drive or treat yourself to a night of good fun. Take a deep breath and find a way to relax before trying to start again.

*Final note: No matter what comes, do not use these as an excuse. They will work once but they will not keep working. I understand even if you have prescriptions: but it's your responsibility to take care of yourself. If you're having a really rough day, then don't go around others or their things. Your attitude and/or illness are not exceptions to you being a jerk to others. You need to focus on reigning yourself and preparing ahead of time for the worst. You didn't ask for it, I know, but just because I'm PMSing one day doesn't give me the right to be a jerk or just because I'm about to have a panic attack does not allow me to speak sharply with those I love (sorry, btw). Those you love will work with you, but not if you take every brash chance to push them away. 

*Yes, there will most likely be a few nights you spend in tears whether you are homesick, lonely, stressed, dealing with finals, or scared. It happens to everyone, and you are not alone. Take it one deep breath at alone. You WILL get through this!

Links for pick-me-ups and help:

Yik-Yak from tumblr if you don't have the app

Top 5 Mental Health problems college students face

College Report on Mental Health

College Stress tips to survive

How to reduce stress in college

8 Ways to manage stress in college

Packing List #1

And it's getting ready to begin!

What, you ask?

Your college experience!
Or maybe you're just moving out.

Either way, you are leaving your parents' house for the first time by force or by choice and now you're on your own and you don't know what you need to survive. You might have about 3 hangers, 1 sock and a box of Cheeze-Its or maybe you're packed with three boxes of luggage and another of your boots, I don't know.

So, let's make sure you have what you need!

And just to be sure, I'm adding the stars of everything that is optional, and on the bottom are your alternatives. If you need to save the money, then use your alternatives.

Let's start with your bathroom needs:

(assuming you have a toilet, shower and sink)
Toilet paper- this is NOT optional.
Hairbrush/comb
+Shower curtain if necessary. Make sure you have shower rings
Shampoo
Body wash
Razor
Hand soap
Body towel
Face/hand towel
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Floss
+Makeup if that's your thing
+Hair accessories if that's your thing

And next, the bedroom:

(assuming you have at least a mattress)
*Hangers
Fitted Sheet
+Decorations if you like
^If you are bringing them, check your contract for rules on blue tack, tape, and pins
Top Sheet
*Pillow
Pillow case
At least 1 blanket
*Laundry Basket
*Trash can

I will cover this more in detail in a later post but basics of wardrobe:

At least one professional outfit
According to your local weather, the hottest and coldest and wettest

Extras that are somewhat optional:

Legal forms of identification, like your ID, your passport
Umbrella
*Baseball bat
Key ring with an extra hidden key
Computer with charger
Phone with charger and back up charger
Car with legal registration
Lease (know the details)
Movies, books, your hobbies
Your pet with their items
Your best friend
Kitchen necessities: which I will also address in a larger post later on. Basics will include at least a fork, spoon, knives (three levels of sharpness), plate, bowl, cup, mug, glass, at least three plastic containers, dish soap, sponge, varying pots and pans, and so on.

What to seriously include:

First aid kit (band-aids, burn cream, sunscreen,)
Sewing kit (you can buy one at the dollar store, but trust me on this)
Flash light
Broom

Final Note:

This is not everything you should have. But these are the minimal basics. I try to have the majority of these with me at all times, whether taking them with me on the drive or flight or buying them when I reach my new place. But these are the basics you should have.
And like I mentioned a few times, I'll get more particular with particular sections on this list in later posts.

If you think I have missed anything that should definitely be on the list, let me know!

*Hangers: Strangely enough, they are optional if you already have a dresser, or something. These are inexpensive of course, but I have had to live out of my bags for at least 2-3 weeks before and I could do so for longer if necessary. If you have a trunk that can remain open beneath your bed, then that gives you at least one alternative. Or if you have boxes, you can organize them in there as well.
*Pillow: This is also a makeshift option that I always use for camping- stuff your clothes into your softest shirt or sweater, and hug it tight. Done!
*Laundry Baskter; you can get a nice small round one either at the dollar store or even Wal-Mart. But if you don't have that extra dollar, any large bag will do. Trust me, it's doable. But don't keep it for long because the smell will linger.
*Trash can: you can just use trash bags. You know that, right?
*Yeah, it's optional. But it shouldn't be. 

Here are some additional links that can help you out as well:
Insider Tips
Hercampus tips
Opinion suggestions